| 2 Dreams |
[Nov. 8th, 2008|03:55 pm] |
I've had both of these dreams twice. They both happen exactly the same way each time.
#1 : I'm not sure how I feel about this one....
So I'm sitting on a set of 6 metal stairs (like high school football stadium bleachers....but they're a bit taller) I'm going to attempt a seating chart::
_________________
__________A______
__BC_____________
_________________
______D__________
_E_______________
A = A soldier, off duty, sitting with his feet on the seat in front of him, elbows on knees
B & C = A gay couple. B has his left elbow on C's right shoulder. A friend pose, but that's just the type of relationship they have with each other. They love each other because they're best friends.
D = Me
E = I think there is a girl with dirty blond hair sitting there. I'm not so sure, though.
The dream starts - view from my eyes. I see Ruth (a TD at FSU) standing directly in front of me on the sidewalk.
----Cut to camera behind Ruth, showing the back of her and all of us sitting------
There is a canister of some invisible liquid that is suspended in mid air to Ruth's right. It tips toward her as she sticks her hand out to the side, one finger (palm up) extends to catch the drop that is about to come out. She is staring dead-pan at the soldier behind me.
The drip comes and the tip of her finger begins to disappear. It doesn't fade out, it just goes away.
-----Cut to view from my eyes-----
Ruth, with her fixed stare on the soldier, begins to step up the bleachers. She slowly and steadily steps to my right and crosses behind me to the soldier. I shift my weight to the left to avoid contact with her. The soldier doesn't look at her. He is mentally somewhere else. She touches him with what is left of her rapidly disappearing arm. She is now completely gone. The disappearing soldier stands, walks slowly, and touches person C who is wearing a white shirt. The soldier is now gone. Person B does not move his arm. Person C covers his teeth with his lips and softly "bites" person B's forearm. They both disappear.
I wake up.
Dream #2
I am with Jacob, Melissa, and Adam.
We are all on toboggans.
We are not in the snow, but in the stars.
Our path is still similar to that of a toboggan going down rolling hills.
The universe is full of black and stars.
I only see close-ups of each face, wind blowing through their hair, the biggest smile on their face.
I feel the sensation you get when you go downhill very fast. That dropping feeling in your stomach...but I feel it in my chest. It's a sensation I have never experienced in Earth.
This is the happiest moment I have ever experienced. It is bliss. There is no possibility of a even a bad thought occurring here.
I feel that our energy is leaving a trail of invisible rainbow colored energy that belongs in the space we're in.
I wake up. |
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| NYC Trip - 1 |
[Oct. 10th, 2008|10:02 am] |
My interview went really well. My initial interview lasted for about 30-45 minutes. We talked about my experience and goals. She also told me a lot about the program. She told me that not many applicants come in with as much experience as I have. (SCORE!) She liked that I use a website to distribute information because they use Outlook. (Which I've used before). I can get health insurance when I'm accepted...so that's awesome. It's about $700 for the whole year..and it covers the 3 months that I'm no longer working with them (Summer of 2010). Helen Taynton (The one I interviewed with) is extremely nice and knowledgeable. She takes all of the interns to see Broadway Shows, Off-Broadway Shows, concerts at The Met, and other cool things like that. She keeps track of everyone's hours to make sure they're not under / over worked. The environment she described was awesome.
Then she took me on a tour. That lasted about 30 minutes. I got to see all of the theatres and all of the shops. I met a lot of the interns that were working. I got to meet one of the head stage managers (not an intern) and she invited me to attend 2 rehearsals. One was last night and one is Monday night. I didn't end up going to the one last night because we went to Carnegie Deli. (more on that later) But I am planning on going to Monday night's rehearsal.
After the tour, we had a brief concluding talk in Helen's office and she invited me to go talk to as many people as I wanted. I gave her my business card and told her about my website, thanked her, and left.
I then met with the Production Management intern, Meryl. Meryl was so nice and had a lot of great information. I asked her about the energies around campus, where she lived, how it was to transfer to living in the city, how the work environment was, and some other random things. Everything she said made me want to be there. It seems like such a great place to work. I chatted with her for about 20 minutes, then I headed to the stage management office.
I got to meet almost every single stage management intern during the time I was in the office. I was in there for probably about an hour. We were just talking like friends. They gave me the real story behind how Juilliard works and how they like it. It was really great to hear their perspectives on everything. They always stay busy, but said that Helen takes VERY good care of them. One of the girls, Ariel, wasn't allowed to come to rehearsal because she was sick - even though Ariel wanted to come to rehearsal, Helen made her take a day off. They were all extremely friendly and welcoming to me. I got some of their e-mail addresses, and I'm going to be keeping in contact with them. I also gave them my card and asked them to e-mail me if they could think of anything else I may need to know. They were awesome.
After that, I met up with Casey again and she was mad at me for taking 3 hours! Haha. She wasn't really, but it was funny to joke about. "If you don't get this internship...I will be mad at you for making me wait 3 hours." Haha. But she was in Barnes & Noble the whole time, so it wasn't that bad.
We met up with Casey's brother's girlfriend, Kim, and then went to Carnegie Deli. Oh man, that was a big sandwich! I got the cold corned beef. It was sooooooooooooooooooooooo good. I took a picture of it. It was huge. I don't even know how I managed to eat the whole thing. Haha.
After dinner we visited the M&M store which was pretty sweet. Get it? Sweet! I didn't take many pictures yesterday...I was in a weird place in my life. You know - making strides toward starting the rest of my life. It's a weird feeling. Well Casey and I are planning on going to a great bagel place this morning, I think it's called Bubba's Bagels? Then we've got some errands to run and we'll probably head back to the city to see a show this evening. I'm stoked! |
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| SETC Day 1 |
[Mar. 6th, 2008|08:25 am] |
Here's the schedule for today....this Thursday in Chattanooga, TN.
10:30am : Stage Managing Musical Theatre
1:00pm: Portfolio Review
1:20pm: Phone interview with Glimmerglass Opera
4:00pm: Stage Management Basics
7:00pm: Stage Management Interest Group
10:00pm: 10 Minute Play Festival
12:00am: Chattanoodle Improv Comedy Show
I'll try to write later tonight about how things actually went. Haha.
This hotel, though. . . the La Quinta Inn...it's great. We have 2 queen size beds (for 2 people in the room). The beds have down comforters a down pillowtop mattress and everything is so soft. I felt like I was sleeping inside of a cloud. It was so nice. Laura and I drove around Chattanooga last night without a map. We saw some interesting things. The Chattanooga Aquarium, some other buildings, some more buildings, the river front, some stop lights, some ghettos...it was fun. We ended up back at the hotel (after some interesting maneuvers in the city) and we decided that we were just going to have a quiet night in. So we decided that we wanted to grab some chinese (food) and take it back to the room to eat while we watch HBO.
We went down to the front desk and asked the lady, "Do you know of any decent chinese restaurants around?" She looked at me, quite perplexed, and said, "Hey [insert man's name], do you know of any good chinese food around here?"
To which he replied, "Are you looking for something close? Well, there's the one right up here on broad street, but the food is too sweet - they put too much sugar in it."
So we ended up at Lupis' pizza and got a pizza with spinach, artichoke, pesto, and feta cheese. It was delicious. The downtown area is pretty neat. I'm looking forward to seeing some theatre this weekend. I didn't really do anything last year at SETC because I was alone and scared. But now that I'm with Laura, we can have adventures together! For example....wait until you hear the name of the play I'm seeing tomorrow morning. (Hint: it has something to do with attractive prehistoric bipedal beings)
<3 Nick
P.S. We have a balcony. It's sweet. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 19th, 2008|11:34 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
sometimes my heartbeat keeps me awake at night.
Tonight is one of those nights.
It feels like it's pounding when it shouldn't be...not just beating. I can feel it in my whole chest. I feel it in my hands. In the top of my head. It just stomps.
I don't think I'm that unhealthy. |
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| Catch up pictures... |
[Feb. 13th, 2008|11:15 pm] |
So...I've been slacking...but I have some pictures to make up for it!!!!
I gave blood!
So did Melissa!
but she got scared
In case anyone is looking for a job - One Fresh Stir Fry is hiring peanut sorters. This one was soon fired for allowing cashews to get in the mix. What a bitch.
This is my domain. Up-stage-left. Boo yeah. I own those stairs! (and that sweet music stand)
You know how I roll.
Columbia and Magenta with champagne. This is one of my favorite moments of being backstage. They're funny.
Yes...they love my mag-lite.
Proof!
The following images are from earlier than today....so....enjoy....
I cleaned the garbage disposal with some foamy blue stuff...it was really cool.
So cool I took another picture of it!
Aw, this was a good day. We played with a paper space shuttle. :) We threw it off of the second floor breezeway.
"Business business business - buy! sell! buy! sell!"
"Like wow, Emily! Do you use a vibrating facial scrubber because your skin is too too soft!"
The birth chamber!
48 cents for bread. This calls for a picture!
Aw...the cast!
Fried pickles, good friends, and this dog. Po'Boys is great.
"We are about to beam the whole house back to our beloved planaaaaaat"
Mmmm...New Orleans food....yes please.
A building
"What's my weakness? Women."
Shrimp and scallop evangeline. It was DELICIOUS. Thank you, New Orleans Harry's!
Okay...that's it. :)
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 26th, 2008|12:41 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | on my ball | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Elanor Rigby (in my head) | ] |
Day 7:
Masa
(Tropical fruit sweet & sour chicken, tuna sashimi) |
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| Photos of the Days (1 - 4) |
[Jan. 23rd, 2008|02:13 am] |
Day 1:
Sonic Cold
Day 2:
Locked Out
(So you can't really see that one - but it's the shadow of Casey's scooter and my backpack by the moonlight because I thought I forgot my keys at the lab. FALSE - they were in my backpack the whole time. )
Day 3:
Peace
Day 4:
Bad Day for Some (A 2-Part Saga)
(Casey got some better shots of this one with her actual digital camera...hope she posts them)
In other news, I have created my photography portfolio website. It will soon be accessible by going to www.NicholasRainey.net Please offer your feedback if you visit. :)
<3 Nick |
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| 10 weeks |
[Jan. 19th, 2008|09:06 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Chick Webb & His Orchestra : Stompin at the Savoy | ] |
LJ has informed me that it has been 10 weeks since my previous post. In that case - I'm announcing that I'm going to start a photo blog LJ sort of thing. I'm going to try to post a photo per day of something that catches my eye. Seeing as how I broke my digital camera as i was tumbling down a mountain in Vermont - most of these pictures will be from my phone, so please excuse the 1.2 megapixel quality. Haha.
Anywho - I hope everyone is doing well. :)
<3 |
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| So.... |
[Nov. 5th, 2007|12:41 am] |
So why couldn't that have waited just ONE day? You know I have no other time to do it. Don't do it now. Okay? Thanks. Be a human and fucking think for once in your life.
Other than that everything is going all right. I just need to stop thinking about life and realize that this show will be my life until December 3rd. Life has to wait when one preps for tech. I hope I do well. I'm scared that I'm going to fuck up and someone's going to be mad at me. I try so hard to make people like me. I'm a great people-person. I talk to everyone (even if I don't care or know what they're talking about - I try to). I make jokes. People laugh. I make people laugh. Those laughs are most often accompanied by smiles. I make people smile. YOU CAN'T HATE SOMEONE WHO MAKES YOU SMILE. Right?
I don't know. Sometimes I wish that I could have a button that gave me a million years of experience under my belt. But then again I don't want to cheat like that, you know. I need to make mistakes early so that I can learn from them and never ever repeat them in the professional world. But some people (my director) don't understand that. I feel so pressured to be perfect that it's stressing me out beyond belief. I have stopped coming home before rehearsals for that one hour of 'me' time to go prep for rehearsals. I'm at school for so long now - I practically live there. Rehearsal started at 6 today - I was there at 3. Casey came with me so it wasn't as lonely. (And good thing she did because my ASM's were 15 minutes late. I was so mad at them. But they don't know how mad I was.)
:: sigh :: I know I complain sometimes....but stage management makes me so happy. I love doing what I do. I don't know what else I would be doing right now. I'm so involved and I have no life and that makes me unbelievably happy. I think part of the reason I love being busy is so I don't have time to think about life outside of my prompt book. But in a way - I'm okay with that. The world is full of facist bastards anyway who just want to bring down people who stay true to nature. I mean - it's sacrificing that relationship aspect ... that's a joke anyway. I don't know why I even try to THINK about having a relationship. It's most likely never going to happen. At least not while I'm at FSU. I think I need to be in a more stable environment to begin thinking about relationships. A college town is not a good place for anything other than beer.
Okay - well I think my dryer is done. Peace out. |
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| .. . . |
[Sep. 25th, 2007|11:26 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Who knows? | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  lonely | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The sound of my heart beating alone. | ] |
Listen, I just need to get married.
I'm tired of this shit.
Just marry me.
Someone.
Please.
Now.
Maybe it's the fondue talking. I mean...Melting Pot. The atmosphere in that place is so intimate. I just need someone in my life to be a constant. I know I've had at least two hundred thousand posts on LJ about wanting to be married....and I'm sorry. But shouldn't that say something? I know exactly what it says. I WANT TO GET MARRIED. That's it. It's pretty simple, no?
Ex:
"Will you marry me?"
"Yes"
DONE!
You see how simple that is?
I just go crazy by myself.
I'm being a big woman right now. But I don't care. Marry me. |
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| Casey = Life Saver |
[Sep. 23rd, 2007|03:40 pm] |
As I was sitting, watching Clean House on Style Network, i felt this slight pain across my forearm. It was a weird pain that I had never felt before. I thought, "Man - I hope I don't end up on House" (You know...that TV show)
About .009 seconds later it felt like my forearm was being cut off with a rusty spoon from the inside. It was absolutely the most painful experience I have had in 20 years of life. My eyes filled with tears. I had no idea what was happening. Casey didn't either. She immediately ran over to me and started massaging the pain. Even though I don't think it was a cramp, it seemed to help a lot.
The pain only lasted about 30 seconds, but you try having your arm sawed off with a rusty spoon from the inside and see how you feel.
Thanks, Casey. I'm pretty sure I'd only have half of a right arm right now if it wasn't for you. |
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| That's so Beachwood |
[Aug. 19th, 2007|01:18 am] |
Let it be known that Thomas K invented the adjective Beachwood. We just wanted to throw that out there in case it catches and becomes big. He calls dibs on rights to the word. (I helped)
beachยทwood [beech-wood]
adj.
1. being of or relating to the hectic and busy nature of the Express clothing store in the Beachwood Place Mall of Beachwood, OH. Sara wished she could escape her beachwood schedule and visit the beach.
2. being too busy to do and/or think of anything unrelated to what one is doing and/or thinking of at the present moment. Thomas wanted to have lunch with Nick, but he was far too beachwood to leave.
[Origin: August 15th, 2007. From the Hebrew town Beachwood. Corresponding to busy adj. actively and attentively engaged in work or a pastime] |
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| aw |
[Aug. 17th, 2007|05:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | bored | ] |
| [ | music |
| | make it stop! | ] |
Yep.....I'm in Georgia. Just look.... pine tree pine tree pine tree pine tree pine tree pine tree pine tree pine tree pine tree pine tree pine tree pine tree pine tree pine tree peaches pine tree pine tree pine tree peaches pine tree pine tree. |
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| ouch |
[Aug. 17th, 2007|05:24 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Georgia - back seat | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | sore | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Nascar talk radio (puke my brains out) | ] |
So I knew i was going to be quarrantined in the back seat all the way to Florida. I thought it would be okay. My lower back is starting to think otherwise. Maybe this new position = not so great. I miss pilates and yoga....and spaciousness. |
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| Grab your mining helmet, kids! |
[Aug. 17th, 2007|05:06 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | South Carolina - back seat | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  full | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Cool music (coming from my speaker pillow attaced to my iPod) | ] |
So there I was....at Big Lynn Lodge. It was named after a huge Lynden Tree that used to exist right on the county line of two counties. It was used as a rendezvous point for soldiers during some war. And since it was right on the county line, young couples used it as a landmark to get married. if the couple lived on one side of Big Lynn and wanted to get married but their parents didn't approve, they could simply hop to the other side of the tree into the next county and get married without their parents consent. So the lodge that we stayed at was named after this tree which used to exist right in front of where the lodge is now. The tree has since been cut down for reasons unbeknownst to me and in its' place stands two sprouts from the original Big Lynn. When I say sprouts, I mean full grown trees. they are about 40 years old.
So this lodge is in Little Swizerland.....wtf mate? Anywho....after seeing the mannequins in the bathrooms I could only wait to explore the rest of this Swiss trove of wonders. They rang the dinner bell at 730. ............ Let me repeat that. THEY RANG THE DINNER BELL at 730. Wtf mate? We're not cattle. Anywho....we trotted over to the feeding troughs and awaited our evening reward for not running away. Ham steak with mac-n-cheese and green beans plus a side of cnnamon apples (apple dumpling minus the dumpling part). It was pretty average. Dad told me he has never been much on mac-n-cheese. (i never knew that. thats probably the most i've learned about my dad in the past 6 years.) He asked me to rate this mac-n-cheese on a scale of 1 to 10. i gave it a 5.5. it was totally average but it was baked so it got a extra half point. Dad then asked where Kraft Spirals-n-cheese rated on the scale. I gave it an 8 easily.
Dinner was over and i ran back to the room to grab my laptop in order to retiurn to the main lobby for wireless internet signal. (that is when i wrote the previous entry)
Skip ahead to this morning. I deided to wake up at 6am to watch/photograph the sunrise. So i did - surprisingly. Well not so surprisingly considering I went to bed at about 1015pm. I was ready with my tripod and everything. No sunrise. Im not saying it was the apocalypse and the sun burned out - it was just so cloudy that by 715 the sun was officially up but not out due to cloud coverage. i was pissed.
RING RING RING A DING DING DING RING DING BING BING RING RING
We were herded to breakfast.
We actually got to choose from a (limited) menu fr this feeding time. I selected the pancakes, grits, and scrambled eggs with cheese. I had a glass of ice water to drink. I noticed that the waitresses - in true Little Swizerland style - were wearing their Swiss milk maid/yodeling dresses.....and Nike tenis shoes. Swiss Misses they are not.
After cleaning our morning troughs we moseyed back to our dwelling to repack the few items we took out last night, checked out, and drove to Gem Mountain. That's right kids! GEM MOUNTAIN! We went mining. And by mining I mean Dad payed $240 for 3 buckets of ugly rocks with which we were to sift through and pick out the less ugly rocks. ***415pm crossed into Georgia*** Dad and stepmom really enjoyed the sifting for less ugly rocks. I had an all right time. i had no idea what was doing. i turned to stepmom and said ''is this a rock?'' she quickly replied ''That's a ruby!! Kevin, look! It's a ruby!'' Well shit - it looks like a fucking petrified pebble of poo. Whatever. I then figured out the trick that any rock that wasn't the white rocks with black spots was a gem and i should put it in my bag. Thanks. Well after the whole $75 bucket and 20 random pictures later everyone had finished their $75 bucket and was ready to go into the shop for help with identification and inspection. I had separated my rocks based on color in different bags. i wanted the gem lady to check out my cool blue ones (sodalite) the unknown black ones (i forgot what she called them) and the petrified poo pebbles (rubys and garnets). The deal that came with the $75 bucket was we got one stone each cut for free. Stepmom ended up wanting 6 of hers cut so dad didn't get to use his free ticket because he gave it to her. I wasnt about to give up my ticket too! I chose a nice round garnet poo to be cut for free. Turns out our order won't be ready for about 16 weeks. Great. I got prune hands, pebbles in my sandals and wet jeans to wait 16 weeks!?!? I don't think so. Bitch, cut my garnet poo now!
So we got back in the truck and headed down the most winding road i have ever experienced. There were truck brake cooling turn offs. And a runawaw truck lane. hahahaha! Funny...but if there is a runaway truck I doubt it would survive the million curves that come before said lane. P.S. Runaway truck lanes = 1y00 feet of mini sand dunes ending in a steep ramp of sand....in case the mini sand dunes dont stop you first.
After we made it down the mountain i found a new comfortable position in the back seat and slept until South Carolina. My new position = back on door, both legs on my bag next to me. (bad posture) Im staing pretty comfortable thanks to the body pillow (6.99 at Gabriel Brothers) that i'm sitting on. I ended up throwing away a box of Pierogies and Veggie Nuggets because we didnt have any refridgeration at the Big Lynn Lodge. I suppose we're going to make it to Talahassee tonight. That's the plan. I spoke to Patrick last night and he said he would clean the living room for my parents. I appreciate him.
I've missed Patrick and Sara and Casey this summer. It will be good to get the Richmond Villas Gang back together. Speaking of - Cat Lady moved out of Unit H. Karlo moved in. I don't know if he has a roommate.
JESUS. THE WAY TO COUNTRY COOKIN. Yeah, that was painted on the roof of a restaurant I just saw. Thank you, Georgia.
So I feel like I have caught up with myself on this journey. I will be posting pics to this post as soon as possible. I know you cant wait for Gem Mountain Bucket 'O Rocks Extravaganza! |
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| um....what? |
[Aug. 16th, 2007|09:15 pm] |
So here we are at the cottage on a mountain. We're in the part of town called Little Swizerland. What the fuck, right? So we're checking in and I have to pee.......so I go pee in the lobby/library restroom.....this is what i was greeted with....
That's where I draw the line. What the fuck is this?!?!?!?!
Well....I didn't want her offending anyone with a heart condition...so I re-dressed her. It was creepy. Mannequin = creepy!
That is all.
Tomorrow = mining for gems
Me = can't wait
hah.
i'm out |
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| oh dear |
[Aug. 16th, 2007|04:24 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | lost | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Tennessee....question mark | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Striesand: You Don't Bring Me Flowers, Ohio Players: Roller Coaster (Of Love) | ] |
So here we are in Tennessee....
"I hope this is right"
Man I love hearing that from the front seat.
We pulled into a parking lot of a plaza containing La Mexicana Restaurant, Magic Wok Chinese Restaurant, Cavalry Chapel, and United Trinity Church.
 
Dad: "Are we in Tennessee?"
Stepmom: "I couldn't tell you."
Great.
Dad: "Well we dont want to be in Johnson City"
So we made it back on the highway.
Dad: "I think we're okay"
Fuck.
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| Road Trip |
[Aug. 16th, 2007|02:53 pm] |
So I left Kent, Ohio this mornin at 7:50am this morning. It is currently 1:45 and we are somewhere in West Virginia. Just to give you an idea of how uncomfortble I am...I'll try to describe how I'm sitting. I only have enough room to put one leg down, but I can only angle it diagonally to the right. Well that got old so i now have both legs up - the right one bent, foot on the seat - the left one bent at 90 degrees, knee on the back of the front seat , foot on the window.
I'm pretty mad at my dad and stepmom because they decided it was a good idea ***1:55pm crossed into Virginia*** to bring back furniture from Michigan. That means that everything I needed to live for the past 3 MONTHS needed to fit in 2 of the 3 back seat spaces in this Dodge Ram 1500. The remaining space is mine to sit for this wonderful road trip back to Florida. This is not what I signed up for. Dad said he would be able to pick me up on the way bak from Michigan...he never said that I'd have to sacrifice my stuff in order to fit around the furniture that they don't fucking need. Listen - they're house is a fucking mess it's nothing but clutter. They dont need any more shit! FUCK.
There is this metal bucket in the trunk - you know the ones that babies sit in to get their picture taken with the rubber duck and the rain hat. I saw that and said "Dad. I hope this huge bucket has an intense family connection. DId you get bathed in this as a child? Are you two going to have babies in the mountains an was them in it?" He said ''no''. ''Then why do you need it?'' My stepmom said.......''We're going to put the ose in it.'' WELL EXCUSE THE FUCK OT OF ME. I had no idea. Well please. Don't think about me! Fuck - just leave me in Kent, Ohio and fill up the space I take up with more fucking HOSE BUCKETS because obiously they're so fucking important. Well I feel honored. I am going through cross country physical suffering for the sake of this hose bucket. (Which is not an antique or hand crafted or special in any sense. I'm pretty sure that wal mart has fucking metal wash tub buckets on sale for 14.99. But I'm not bitter.) Now...they didn't only bring a wash bucket back. They also have a table or two and a wooden chest or two and Allah knows what else.....or two.
So here I am in the back seat scowling at them every chance I get.
Somewhere in West Virginia, my stepmom offered me the pictures from my grandparents 60th Wedding Anniersary party. I was looking through them and I started to cry. partially because I miss my grandparents (I haven't seen them in at least 6 years) and partially because I couldn't name everyone in the pictures. I realized that I have NO relationships with my dads side of the family. I couldn't stand that feeling. With tears in my eyes and my sunglasses on so no one could see the sadness, I sent a txtmsg to both of my sisters. ''I just wanted to let you guys know that when I have kids, you two are going to be in their lives. I just went through dads pictures and couldn't name everyone. It made me sad. I'm just saying that my kids will be able to name you in pictures. I love you. P.S. I'm trapped in the back seat''
My family (parents) are so fucked up sometimes. Mom has issues with her parents and sisters so I rarely get to see them and I feel like Dad doesn't pay attention emough to realize that I don't know anyting about him or his family. I see my stepmom maybe a total of 4 days a year. I have formed NO relationship with my stepdad - primarily because all he ever does is watch tv, work, an argue with mom. Sometimes I feel so distant from my family. I hate that feeling. This isn't a family. I barely know my sisters. I know nothing what-so-ever about ANY of my step-siblings. Nothing. I just want a family so I can fix what everyone else has fucked up. The family I start will be real family. My sisters will be there, all 4 of my parents will be there, grandparents (godwilling), my aunts and uncles and their children. The same goes for my husbands family. I will work my ass off every single day for the rest of my life to ensure that my children know their family and know them well. I want them to be able to share family stories. i dont want to be a stranger to my children. This is quite possibly the worst feeling in the world - i'm surrounded by strangers and they share my blood. I refuse to let my kids go through this life surrounded by srtangers. Thats not how a child should be raised. And i promise to my children that i shall not make them sacrifice for my gain. A child should never have to sacrifice for their parent's superficial indulgence.
I feel like that's enough....for now. Just wait though....no separation for 2 days - there's bound to be plenty of LiveJournal material available.
Until then... |
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| WARNING : Long post....maybe |
[Aug. 5th, 2007|06:04 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | desk | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | laptop cooling fan | ] |
Let's review, shall we?
I moved in to this apartment on May 21st. I met my roommate, Roosevelt on May 22nd. We seemed to get along just fine. He had his space, I had mine. No problems. Fast forward to July 30th. The stage management crew planned a trip to go to Cedar Point. Woo hoo! Tons of fun. (More on Cedar Point later) While I'm there I get this text message "Bitch dont expect shit to be the way it was you stupid faggot" So I replied, "What?" And the conversation continued....he said that his stuff was missing. I inquired as to what stuff he was referring to. He claimed that I knew exactly what he was speaking of. He kept making it sound like all of his worldly possessions had been taken. Well I eventually get to specify what he is freaking out about. .... his food. He completely went APE SHIT CRAZY over me taking this boxed dinner. (At Porthouse, the concessions stand has boxed dinners which patrons can purchase to picnic with. At the end of the week, if there are any extras - company members are allowed to eat them) So there were 3 boxed dinners in the fridge. Right before I left for Cedar Point I remembered that everyone was bringing a lunch to eat outside of the park, so I quick grabbed one of the boxed dinners from the fridge and headed out on my happy way.
That is what the problem was. I took ONE boxed dinner that he got for FREE.
Here's the best part. I come home to discover that Roosevelt had thrown all of my food from the fridge on the kitchen floor. In that fridge I had a glass jar of organic cherry jelly. Roosevelt completely smashed that glass jar on the kitchen floor. There was glass and jelly on the kitchen floor, up the walls, on the front door, in the living room, under the fridge....everywhere. This stupid stupid roommate decided that it was a good idea to get his revenge for the smallest amount of food being taken from him. This gross overreaction was not only unnecessary and uncalled for, but it was also a health hazard. And our other roommate, Steve, just got caught in the crossfire. He cut his foot on the glass from the jar.
So word of this spreads through the company and eventually gets to company management. (Mind you, I called them when I was concerned for my safety and they did nothing for me. Great job. ) Anywho - I got to the theatre the next day and the company manager wanted to talk to me. So when we pulled up to the theatre, there he was - arms crossed waiting for me. I walked up to him and he directed me to go under the tree where Roosevelt was standing. "This situation has been hadled childishly so far - and that's how I'm going to handle it. Now sit down" He said. I thought, "are you serious right now?" He tried to be so official and give us our individual times to talk. I was a million percent honest. "Yeah, I took the boxed dinner. " I didn't take anything else. Nothing else was missing. (Except one can of Sprite which Amber - Roosevelt's friend and coworker took) Roosevelt tried to say that all of his food was missing and a few of his drinks. I didn't feel like calling him out on his lie because I just wanted this fucking conversation to be over with. So fast forward to the end of this talk. Company manager Otto says, "Now if there is any damage done to the floor or the walls, it is coming out of both of your paychecks" Wha-wha-wha-whaaaaaat?!?!?! I DIDN'T FUCKING DO ANYTHING TO CAUSE DAMAGE TO ANYONE OR ANYTHING. Roosevelt said "I was taking his stuff out of the fridge and the jelly just slipped out of my hand" BULL SHIT. That glass and jelly was fucking everywhere in the world. There were news reports about glass shards in South East Asia - that's how smashed that shit was. How am I to blame for this vandalism?!?!? Fuck it all. I hate this Company Management. Just because some dumb ass freaks the shit out about the smallest thing in the world, doesn't mean that I have to pay for damages done to the apartment.
Anyway - I hate him now and I stay the few hours that I'm home in my room with the door locked. He's so fucking crazy. Who does that shit? CRAZY PEOPLE. Clinically insane people do this shit. He needs to be locked up. P.S. I'm not trying to play the race card in this situation...but how many white people do you know would throw everything out of the fridge and smash glass on the floor if a chicken wrap and single serving of potato salad was missing? I'm just sayin'.
NOW THE GOOD STUFF!
I had a blast at Cedar Point. I rode some killer coasters. One was The Mantis. You stand up on that shit. Holy fuck! Standing up on a roller coaster! It was pretty intense. I also did The Dragster. Holy (*&#(&$(*^&@*@&^%^$#&*(@#*U&^%^&@%$%^#&$%@^%^&*#*(^&#$%@(*O&UYT#(#(*&$^&#$*)(#(&#
I went 120mph in 4 seconds on that shit. No lie. I sat front row with my great friend, Jillian. We got off and had to pick dead bugs off of our faces and shirts. I must have eaten at least 12 bugs in 15 seconds. Yummy - protien.
Fast forward to us leaving the park. I said, "Guys, will someone win something for me? Please?" So we headed over to the carnival games and I decided that the Knock Down 3 Clown Faces To Win A Prize game was for us. So I payed $2 for my friend and fellow intern, Eric, to throw 3 balls at these clown faces. He throws the first ball and misses. Damn it all to hell. There's no way he's going to win. So he throws the second ball. HE KNOCKED DOWN TWO FUCKING CLOWN FACES. Get the hell out of dodge! How did he do that?!?!?! No one knows. He watches a lot of baseball. 3rd ball now. He picks it up. Adjusts his stance. Winds up. Throws..................and knocks the 3rd one down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! First try - Eric got 3 clown faces down. It was pretty Epic. If he were a roller coaster, I'd call him the Mighty Destroyer. He annihilated those clown faces.....and won me a big red dog!!!!!!!!! It was the sweetest thing anyone has ever witnessed in the entire world. It made Liz teary eyed. She couldn't help it though....she's a cry baby. LoL - jk. She's pretty tough....yet she has a soft side. Anyway..... Eric won the dog for me. It warmed my heart. :) Here's photographic evidence....
P.S. That's $18 in my hand because I only had to pay $2 for the 3 balls that Eric was a pro with.
 
He's my hero. :)
So...still moving on. I only have 10 days left in Kent. Ohio. |
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